The dreaded big day

My 21st birthday is coming up, and I am not looking forward to it one bit. Every year for my birthday I always seem to be highly disappointed. Birthdays are meant to be one of the happiest days of the year, but nearly on every one I end up crying. I feel as if no one knows me. No one knows what I like, or what I would like from them. Sometimes I think that it's my own fault for not expressing enough, but how do express yourself in a way without completely putting yourself out there?

This year I wanted to have a trampolining party. I like doing things that aren't typically done on someone'e birthday, because it makes it more fun and memorable. But I saw that throughout the year everyone going trampolining and having a whale of a time. So in other words my idea got scrapped. Ever since then my birthday plans have been in the gutter, well that was until the other day when I went over to my friends house and we were discussing what I was going to do.

We came up with the idea to have a nice little BBQ. I phoned my mom and asked her if it would be okay to have one, she kind of confirmed it, then in a text 5 minutes later wrote 'we'll discuss this when you get home'. I got home and nothing was discussed. Almost 6 days later I went shopping with my sister and she heard about my idea and said that it basically wasn't a good idea because BBQ's are hard work. Just like that, I had nothing to do for my birthday.

I was getting so happy for it, I was talking to my friend about colour schemes, if I would be getting a cake and who I would invite and not invite. But yet again it got ripped from me. So I guess this is yet again one of those birthdays which is more likely just going to be a normal day with me having nothing to do.

Happy Birthday to Me!