My Body

My body is a temple. When I was in year 11 people always used to comment and say that I had a nice figure and what not. But to be honest I didn't even know what a figure was. Fast forwarding to the present, I wish that I knew then, what I know now, because I have seriously put on some weight.

I noticed that I had first put on weight when I worked at McDonald's (the first time) and I was okay with it because no one said anything about it. However when my clothes started getting tighter I went from a size 12 to a size 14 things changed.  There's not much of a difference, but at the same time there is. I didn't know that I could feel so upset going up to a new clothes size especially when society praises people for sizing down rather than sizing up.

The thing about weight is that it creeps up on you. It was about 6 months ago that I saw a picture of myself when I was at school and my hair was nice a long (RIP) and my legs were nice and toned and I was a happier person than I am now. I'm not happy with my body, but I haven't been for a long time and its easy to tell someone to go to the gym, but it's not that easy.

When you go to the gym, you feel intimidated, you have boys watching/stalking your every move, you have people that can run on the treadmill for 45 minutes straight when you can only do 30 seconds, and then you have the ever decreasing self esteem. One thing that always happens to me when I go to the gym is the fact that after a class, I would look at myself in the mirror and find no faults in my body however, the moment I reach home everything I thought I got over comes back. I would go into my mums room, look in her mirror and literally all I would see were these massive tree trunked, cellulite looking legs staring back at me. Not all the problems we have with our body can be fixed, I mean cellulite isn't going to disappear because I want it to. But it also it's not something that I want to see when I look in the mirror.

I was lying in my bed literally 20 minutes ago and it came to me, even though I am unhappy about my body, what was I doing to change it? But it also bought up the question why should I?

Pros of losing weight:
- Legs will be slimmer
- I (supposedly) will be happier
- I would show off my body more

Cons of losing weight:
- Changing myself to please others more than myself
- Becoming a gym-a-holic

But what if there is a solution, going to the gym 3 days a week but just attending classes therefore I could learn from them, but as well as toning, I will be losing fat therefore killing 2 birds with one stone. I think that's what I need to do and find something that works for me and not sacrifice my happiness.