The stress that I endured today was totally not worth it. I know that it is a typical student thing to hand your assignments in with 1 minute to spare, but this time I was under severe anxiety because this was a re-submission.

At least half way through my year at uni, I decided that university wasn't for me. I went to my lectures if I felt like it and I did my work if I felt like it. I wasn't motivated at all, and in all fairness wasn't interested. Rewinding to 2 months ago, I decided that if I just completed my first year of uni I could give myself some options. The options were:

1. To find a media related job by September
2. If I didn't find a job, then stay at my current job until I did
3. Move on to 2nd Year.

Submitting my assignment today and the preparation I did for it, really makes me despise the third option. There's days when I go to university, and I think to myself 'this could be it' and then there are other days when I just don't understand what I am doing there. I do believe that this is down to the teaching. From the beginning of the year, lecturers informed us that we would have to write up assignments, and that was okay. What was not okay was that they never taught us what an assignment was.

Every time I received information back from lecturers they all mentioned that I needed to work on my colloquialism. Sure, I understand what you are saying, but how? Did you want to expand on that? University is very much independent, and the lecturers are vague. In some cases it comes across as being lazy, it seems as if whenever you ask them a question they tell you to refer to the module handout. It is so annoying.

I am not even sure that I am going to pass my first year to make it to my second year, and it doesn't bother me. It should, but it doesn't. Paying £9,000 a year for a course such as mine and feeling that you are not even getting the support you need, is a waste of time and money. It's a debatable subject because it's almost like society and the system wants me to fail but they also want me to pass. If I knew what profession I wanted to be in, I don't think I would be having the problem I am now, so who am I to blame anyone, but myself?